Pexels


Hey everyone, tokea is here, and this post we're going to learn how to stop being shy and awkward. The reason that I want to issue this topic is that I know how hard it can be to socialize and step out of your comfort zone. People often tend to be judgy to people who are shy and like to label them. Now, let's begin.

1- Don't Apologize

Pexels
Whether you're reserved, timid, or just painfully awkward. The first thing you need to know is that there is nothing wrong with you. I can't tell you how often I've heard quiet people apologizing or making excuses for their own shyness, they end up feeling so guilty about missing chances to get out of their comfort zone, that they drive themselves crazy. Each time they miss out on one of these opportunities, the pressure and fear begin to build until eventually, things that only seemed a little bit uncomfortable will cause them so much anxiety, that they can't do them at all. It might feel like you're the only one in the room who's struggling with this intense pressure, but you couldn't be more wrong. In fact, nearly everyone struggles with the same anxieties at some point. But with enough practice, they learn how to avoid letting them affect their behavior. It is true that some people struggle more than others. But having social anxiety doesn't make you any worse than anyone else. You have nothing to apologize for, and nothing to feel guilty about. Because at the end of the day, the only person you're affecting is you.

2- Avoid Definitions

Pexels
When you've struggled with social anxiety, or awkwardness for long enough, you've probably started labeling yourself as a shy person. You might have even told someone, I'm just like that, or I can't help it. But most of the time, neither of these things are true. Imagine you decide to go to a concert to meet new people thinking you'll make some friends with similar interests. After the concert ends, you're standing in line to get some food. When you hear a couple of guys behind you talking about how much they liked the band. You know everything there is to know about this band. So you could easily jump into the conversation at any moment. But you never actually open your mouth. The next day, you meet up with an old friend, and you don't hesitate to tell them everything about the concert, and the missed opportunity at the end. You rant for 20 minutes about all the cool things you could have said to those guys, until your friend asks, Why didn't you just go for it? And you respond? I don't know. I guess I'm just a shy person. If you were actually a shy person, would you've instantly come alive for in talking to your friend? My point is that you shouldn't use words like shy or awkward, to sum up, your entire personality. Because there are plenty of times when you're the exact opposite. around your family. For example, you might be talkative, energetic and Goofy despite struggling to say two words, when you're out in public. When you label yourself as shy like that, you're pigeonholing your entire personality. So next time you run into this situation, say I was just being awkward yesterday. By changing your phrasing, you can avoid living up to any of the negative expectations you create for yourself.

3- Focus On Them

Pexels
When you're trying to summon the courage to step outside your comfort zone, what kinds of things are you thinking about? Are you searching for an entertaining story to tell? Or maybe a talent to show off? You might think the best way to be outgoing is to prove your worth looking at and listening to. But is that actually how we connect with people? Even if you did impress everyone in the room? What would you actually gain from that? The truth is that you might be looking at these social interactions are all wrong. Instead of investing so much energy into making people like you, you should be focusing on how you can show others that you like them. Don't make the mistake of thinking you have to step into the spotlight to escape your shyness. People generally love to talk about themselves, so you can and should use that to your advantage. If you laugh at their jokes and ask a lot of questions, you'll make a great first impression without having to become the center of attention.

4- Avoid Comparisons

Pexels
While making comparisons is generally unhealthy no matter what you're trying to improve on. It's especially detrimental for people who struggle to come out of their shell. comparing yourself to someone who is more extroverted, or less socially awkward, can lead to unnecessary stress, anxiety, and most importantly, low self-esteem. For many people who struggle with shyness, low self-esteem is one of the biggest reasons why they have trouble interacting with others. It cripples your confidence causes self-doubt and stops you from ever coming out of your comfort zone. So if you want to overcome your shyness, you should first work on building your self-esteem by learning to trust and take pride in yourself.

5- Make Lists

Pexels
Say you got invited to a social event for a new job, all of your co-workers are going to be there. So you're excited to try to get to know them better. When you get there you see a group of people talking and laughing. So you think about joining in. But then you start worrying about all the things that could go wrong. They might not remember your name, they may be laughing at you behind your back. Or maybe they just don't like to you. With all these possibilities swirling through you, you end up being too scared to even try. So how can you stop this from happening? an efficient way to mitigate this kind of anxiety is to make a list. Whether you write it on a scrap of paper or in your phone, it's important that you get your list some sort of physical form. There, you should write down all the negative outcomes that you're worried about. By simply organizing your fears. Many of these situations won't seem nearly as intimidating, especially because you can plan ahead to avoid bringing them to life.

6- Repetition

Pexels
People who struggle with shyness tend to make the same common mistakes. They see a great opportunity to socialize but end up talking themselves out of it. They feel terrible about passing up on the opportunity and ultimately convinced themselves that it was the only chance they'd ever have. But like most forms of self-improvement, overcoming shyness isn't about making one big, bold statement. It's about taking small consistent steps forward. So you have to keep creating opportunities to be social, no matter how uncomfortable they make you.

7- Bring a Friend

Pexels
If you don't want to throw yourself into the deep end, you can make it easier to socialize by bringing a friend with you, even if they're standing on the other side of the room. Simply seeing a familiar face can ease your nerves and motivate you to keep pushing. If your friend is more outgoing than you are, you can also use them to work your way into conversations. Once they've started talking to someone, use your friend as an excuse to join in. Eventually, your friend might get a drink or go to the bathroom giving you the opportunity to try to lead the conversation. Well, all of this can be very helpful. There is one downside to bringing an outgoing friend to law. People who struggle with shyness tend to use their extroverted friends as social shields. Well, it might seem easier to simply hide behind your friend wherever you go. It's actually hurting you in the long run by making you more insecure and codependent.

8- Control Your Environment

Pexels
If you don't have an outgoing friend to bring along, you can also relax your nerves by socializing in places you're already familiar with. When meeting new people you've got enough to worry about without adding the environment into the mix. If you do, you'll end up wasting hours simply trying to feel comfortable in this new space. Instead, finding an environment where you know you can feel at ease and learn how to be extroverted there. Believe it or not, this is the same strategy that all kinds of entertainers and politicians use to perform or deliver a speech in front of a large audience. They become incredibly familiar with a particular location, whether it's on stage or in front of a podium. And they're great socialites when they're in that specific environment, even if they'd be shy and awkward everywhere else.

9- Body Language

Pexels
Powerful body language can make all the difference when you're learning to overcome your shyness. Because even if you can't control how awkward you are, you can control how awkward you look. Things like standing up straight, crossing your arms and legs and making eye contact will all help other people feel more comfortable around you, which in turn helps you feel more comfortable around them. But shouldn't your body language match the way you're feeling? Not necessarily. Because you can actually use powerful body language to fool yourself into acting more confident. When you look approachable and secure. Other people will treat you that way, so your behavior will naturally rise to their expectations.



10- Teach Others

Pexels
This strategy sounds a bit counterintuitive, but teaching others how to overcome their shyness can really help you deal with you around. You might be one of those people who is read every article and watched every video, but still can't seem to make any progress. Even if you know exactly what you're doing wrong. You just can't escape the same awkward behaviors. But as the old adage goes, those who can't do teach. You may have tried this technique the last time you were studying for a test because many people find that they understand information better when they have to explain it to someone else. Teaching forces you to make connections and answer questions you may not have ever thought to ask. By helping someone else make progress. You also get to see your own advice in action, which can give you the confidence to do it yourself.

Thank you for reading and be sure to subscribe to our mailing list because more incredible content is on the way!